Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I May Be a King

Ok, so today I was at the gas station looking at the candy aisle trying to decide what to make my candy bar sandwich out of, and I realized something. The king sized candy bars are named "king" for a reason, because they are bigger. This may seem obvious, but, who eats big candy bars? Morbidly obese people like me do! So, if we use logic, this means:

King sized candy bars are made for kings, and fat people eat these candy bars, therefore making them kings.

The man at the gas station , abdul hussein, did not appreciate my yelling and commanding, and he kicked me out of his store. I was just telling him to give me all of the candy for free. I mean, I am a king am I not? He was saying shit like "get out of my store, you fat man!!! I have never seen such a beast of a man!! What is the meaning of this!!!"

This is the same man who exclaimed "Allah be merciful" when he first saw me walk in. That was really good for my ego. Anyway, I ate about 5 of the candy bars outside of the gas station, and then I walked to my broke ass car and drove 500 feet to my apartment entrance. Yeah, its good to be the king.