Major events in life list:
Installed fridge in room
Got in altercation at subway in downtown detroit for not being able to buy quadruple meat for my sub. I didn't know that double meat was the highest they could go.
Broke the toilet at mejier on 12 mile and telegraph because apparently it wasn't made for "heavy people" as the assistant manager told me. I had porcelain shards in my ass fat for days, and they had to renovate their bathrooms under code 4.17.03 of the Michigan Building Code. They also called the fire department when they found me. I was unable to wipe for days. Anyyyywayyy...
I made fake profiles on match.com and eharmony to see if there is actually a chance for me meeting a girl in this world, and apparently there isn't. I actually got matched with a Parmesan meatball sandwich. This news was slightly depressing yet tasty.
I almost got stuck in my bathtub. I was standing up at the time.
I participated in a research study at my college for the travel compensation money, since I was going there anyway. The study was on whether or not eating a diet high in certain minerals could curb eating desires. They can't. I was kicked out of the study by week 2 because I did not fit the criteria of what a "normal person is". My ginormous appetite skewed the research data so badly that the who study was scratched.
I learned that I am not a "normal person" by some 24 year old psychology grad student at Wayne State University.
I hid a fresh, massively long "Lincoln Log" in some 24 year old psychology grad student's desk. I also threw a bunch of papers on top of it to further heighten the surprise.
And that's about it. I know there is more, but writing makes me depressed sometimes. Or hungry. Actually, it makes me both.
Oh, one more thing happened. My crazy neighbors power went out some how, and he asked to come over and use the phone. Maybe it had to do with the strange gunshot noises I heard coming from his house, or the fact that he was probably practicing how to cut the power to a house, and accidentally cut the power to his own house during the practice. Who knows. So anyway, I let him use the phone, and he dials like 18 numbers and just waits for 5 minutes while the phone rings and rings on the other end. He had the volume on the phone up all the way, so i could hear everything. The ringing and ringing lasted forever. It was really awkward. Then, once I was about to suggest that maybe the person he wants to reach isn't home, the line picks up, but no one talks. He sat in silence for maybe 2 minutes breathing into the phone, with neither party saying anything, then he hung up abruptly. This is an actual photo of the event.
Then, while he was waiting for the electrical company to come to his house, he noticed the Wii I had bought in order to exercise while playing video games (which never happens), and he asked what it was. At first I thought he was stalling for time, maybe because he doesn't like to be in his house alone in the dark, but then I remembered that he was always in his house alone in the dark, so I thought maybe he was being serious. I showed him the Wii and how it worked, and he wasn't amused. We even made him an avatar. He still wasn't amused. He said too many flashing lights bring back painful memories. THANK GOD the electrical company come before he shared some of those painful memories. I now have this character in my Wii, because I don't know how to delete it. Honestly, it just creeps me out.
That's the actual Wii avatar in my gaming console. Worst part is, some games I have to play against the CPU controlled version of this avatar. I tried to delete it, but it just came back, so I don't know what to do.
Well, how was your past 4 months?
