It's New Years Eve right now, and I'm sitting at home drinking leftover Eggnog that I'm pretty sure went bad a week ago. This is really gonna give me gas pains. Anyway, besides my debilitating gastrointestinal problem, everything is going ok. I got annoyed the other day, which usually isn't a big deal, but for some reason this stuck. Some guy at the donut shop said to me "Happy new years!", but it was like, 3 days too early. I replied "it's actually, happy new YEAR". You know, because it wasn't new year's eve, or new year's day, he should said, happy new year, using the singular instead of the possesive which sounds like the plural. I think thats correct. Well, it's my blog, so it's correct. Anyways, the guy gave me a weird look, like he was about to have a heart attack, or like he drank bad egg nog, and he whispered "get out and never come back". So I did. He is foreign, and I think I offended him by either correcting his horrible English, or rejecting his wish that I have an infinite amount of happy new years. I don't feel bad though, he's probably taking some hard working American's job. Who am I kidding, he's probably taking my job. Do I want it? No, not really. I'm happy being the before pictures for many weight loss pill manufacturers. So happy new year's eve to everyone that I like, which does not include my crazy homicidal neighbor. He's probably watching horror movies to perfect his technique. What a creepy guy, really. I went to his house the other day to tell him to turn his tv down because the screams from the horror movie he was watching woke me up, but when he answered the door, the tv was off. He also looked like this when he answered the door...
Ok, I'm gonna go throw up from my bottom now.
